Practicing the Pause: Choosing What’s Worth Your Energy
Life can feel like a constant performance. We step onto the stage every day, doing our best to deliver a show worth watching - yes, we all do. But behind the curtain, the story isn’t always as seamless as it appears. There are plot twists we never saw coming, forgotten lines, and moments when the spotlight feels unbearable. And yet, the audience only sees the surface—the polished parts we allow them to witness.
For years, I’ve wrestled with the reality of being judged by people who see only a fraction of my life. They pass judgment, spread gossip, and make assumptions without knowing the full story. Some vilify my character or relish in my perceived failures, crafting narratives that suit their own perceptions or insecurities. Early on, I felt compelled to address every criticism, defend every misjudgment, and correct every lie. But over time, I’ve learned a powerful lesson: not everything deserves my energy and not everything deserves yours!
The Cost of Reaction
I can’t pretend I’ve always handled this gracefully. There have been moments when I’ve reacted out of emotion, allowing my frustration or hurt to take center stage. In those moments, I’ve missed the opportunity to pause, and instead, I’ve given far too much of myself to situations or people who didn’t deserve it. Looking back, it’s clear how much energy I wasted on moments that were fleeting and insignificant in the grand scheme of my life. The problem wasn’t just what they said about me, my character, my parenting, my body, my business—it was how I allowed it to consume me.
But through reflection, I’ve realized this: every time I react without pausing, I’m giving someone else the power to dictate my energy. And energy is precious. When I react impulsively, I’m letting external noise steal from the internal peace I’ve worked so hard to cultivate.
The Power of the Pause
Practicing the pause isn’t about suppressing emotions or ignoring injustices. It’s about taking a breath before you act, asking yourself if this situation truly deserves your time, your energy, or your peace of mind. Some things do. There are battles worth fighting, moments that demand your voice. But not everything warrants a response.
Pausing allows me to regain perspective. It gives me the space to remember that most of the judgments people make aren’t even about me. They’re about them—their fears, insecurities, and limited understanding. People will judge you based on who they wish you were or who they envy you for being. Their opinions are shaped by their own experiences, not yours. Recognizing this truth has been liberating.
In these moments of pause, I’ve also learned to turn to God. Giving my worries, frustrations, and pain to God has been one of the most profound ways to release what’s not mine to carry. When I’m overwhelmed, I remind myself that I don’t have to bear the weight of it all—God is there to shoulder the burden and guide me back to peace. Surrendering to God’s plan and trusting in that timing allows me to let go of the need to control every outcome. Every experience has led me here. I wish I could explain in words the freedom and peace I have now in the very simple act of “Giving it to God”.
The Stage and the Curtain
Life has a way of throwing its hardest punches when you’re already down. On the darkest days, when you feel like the walls are caving in, it seems that’s when the critics get the loudest. If only they knew what was happening behind the curtain—the struggles you’re navigating, the pain you’re carrying, the resilience it takes just to show up. But that’s not how life works. The audience doesn’t see the backstage chaos. They only see the performance.
Sometimes, the show flops. The script changes without warning, and you’re forced to improvise, unsure of your lines or the plot’s direction. In those moments, the urge to explain yourself can be overwhelming. But here’s the truth: the audience review is never in your control. No matter how hard you try, you can’t force people to see the full picture. And you don’t have to. The show must go on, but you get to decide how you’ll perform—and for whom.
Protecting Your Energy
Learning to pause has been one of the most challenging lessons of my life. It’s not something you master overnight. There will still be moments when you’re taken off guard, when you feel backed into a corner, and the instinct to react takes over. But with practice, you can begin to recognize those moments for what they are: opportunities to choose.
Ask yourself:
Does this deserve my energy?
Will this matter a week from now? A month? A year?
Am I reacting out of emotion or intention?
Sometimes, the best response is no response at all. You don’t have to hand out tickets to your private show. Not everyone deserves access to your inner world, and not every opinion needs to be addressed. Pausing is what helps me discern what truly matters. When I pause to pray or reflect, I’m reminded that there is a greater plan for me than any temporary storm I might face and that this storm is a part of that plan.
Embracing the Unscripted
Life is unpredictable, and there will always be people ready to critique your every move. But their words don’t define you. You are not the sum of their judgments or the stories they tell about you. You are the author, the actor, the director of your own life. And sometimes, the best thing you can do is step off the stage, tear up the script, and let the story unfold naturally.
Practicing the pause isn’t about perfection. It’s about protecting your energy, honoring your peace, and choosing what truly matters. The next time life catches you off guard, take a breath. Give yourself the grace to pause, reflect, and decide. And when it feels like too much to bear, give it to God. Let God carry the burdens you weren’t meant to hold. Because not everything is worth your energy—and your energy is worth so much more.